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STOP BLAMING OTHERS AND TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR ACTIONS
We are a part of a community whether it be
a circle of friends, a group or a team.
28 Mar 2020
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Tuesday, April 28, 2020

SPEND LESS THAN YOU EARN

Chambie

SPEND LESS THAN YOU EARN

Money is wealth. When we have money, we have the power to do the things that we want. We can buy new clothes, buy new phones. We can buy any material things that we want.

That is of course if we have money.

The more that we want, the greater the money that we need.

Back in my school days, my parents always told me to finish my studies and get a job so that I could have my own money to buy the things that I want.

During those days, it was like me wanting to have a time machine, go to the future, get a job, earn money, and do what my parents told me.

I still remember when I was in 4th grade when my friends introduced me to a new racing game called Tamiya race cars. I was so hooked with the game that I even begged for my parents to give me money to buy the toy but instead, they give me lectures.

Our financials back then was not that good. I never even imagined how my parents reached this far to raise us.

GOING FORWARD

As my parents used to say, "You can buy anything you want when you have your own money."

Imagine yourself, wanting so many things when you where young but your parents would not want you to. A bit harsh, don't you think?

Lucky for the kids nowadays, that they just have to cry and their parents would buy them what they want or just wait for their birthday and they could have a brand new phone. Such a wonderful life kids have nowadays. Damn! I'm seriously envy .

Way back then, it felt like passing through a needle hole just to have what you want.

But now is different. I am in control of my life, I have my financial freedom and I can buy all the things I want now.

Oh yeah! I'll buy all the toys that I want. All the video games that I've never played before, buy all the candies that I want! Nobody could stop me!

Funny but my life is no longer as I was a kid.

Have I not enjoy a meaningful life in the past? Still now, I am thinking of it.

Reflecting on how my life was back in the past. I was thinking, maybe my parents aim to teach me the value of money? And the reason why they don't want me to have all the things I want is that they don't want me to develop a habit of being a compulsive buyer.

Compared to many of whom I've met, my life is so different from them especially when it comes to financial handling.

I admit I am still living with my parents even after I am married but it is not the reason why I've never been in debt. The reason is, I know the value of hard-earned money and I know how to spend it wisely.

     Hey! Please read a little bit background of my life on my previous post to know me better.

Listening and looking at my parents, I am still puzzled if they intended to program me to be like this when it comes to handling money by means of not giving me everything that I want.

Yes, it is a bit harsh that I did have the things that I want when I was a kid but I sure don't want the experience of not controlling my expense habit like the rest.

MY FATHER IS A STORYTELLER

My father is twice my age and as they say, "experience is the best teacher."

So what do you expect, more meaningful stories of his life!

Unlike many young ones, I love listening to elderly stories especially when it comes to history, personal development, and wealth.

My father usually talks about wealthy people who've he met during his younger years who are now broke. I know it's a bit negative conversation to have but it is a piece of good indirect advice coming from people with experience.

Most of his stories are sons and daughters of a successful businessman, some are the owner of a bus company, famous fast-food chain, millionaire retiree, and even politicians.

He usually starts his stories on how their life was so good back then. Having a good meal to eat, have fancy clothes to wear and can attend to e extravagant events. Not until these people become miserable because they value their money. Some have been exposed to gambling, some have used to pay many loans and some have over the expense of what they have. All leading to debt.

At the end of his story. He will always remind me that, "It is an honor to be born poor or rich and die as a wealthy man than to be born poor or rich and die as a poor man." (inter-twined with pride of living a life of dignity)

Saturday, March 28, 2020

STOP BLAMING OTHERS AND TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR ACTIONS

Chambie
📷Siavash Ghanbari 
We are a part of a community whether it be a circle of friends, a group or a team. Either it is small or large in number it will always be a community. We humans can never live alone.

Being a part of a community, problems are always rising. The bigger the community, the bigger the problem. The proportion of problems and community will always be the same.

And having such a problem means people would find someone to blame.

We could not deny that this trait exists in all of us.

Experiencing being blamed

It sucks being blamed, especially if you are being blamed all the time. If you have never experienced it before then consider yourself lucky that you have a good community but if you have gone through it, I say I know how it feels like.

I hate it when I am being blamed for things that I am not accountable for. It felt like being robbed of my self-esteem. But what I hate the most is that I allowed myself to be blamed. I allowed myself to be weak with my reasoning.

The Great Shamers

Best way to describe shamers are those persons who are expert in judging and finding faults.

I categorize them into two types; the main-shamer and the secondary-shamer.

  • Main-shamer is those who you are working with, consider them as the leader of the group. They tend to pass the blame to their members when things do not into their favor.
  • Secondary-shamer is those who are not affiliated with but tend to criticize you. They are those who tend to know everything about you. What do with shamers gain from blaming others?
I have listed below some of the benefits that shamers gain from blaming others. The list is self-explanatory.

  1. They need an excuse or a scapegoat of why something had happened. 
  2. They want to preserve their ego.
  3. They don’t want to be criticized.
  4. They want to be superior by lowering other's self-esteem.
  5. It removes inhibition.
Dealing with the Great Shamers

Dealing with them is not easy but here are some basic tips that may help you along the way.

  1. Never put your emotion on the conversation.
  2. Never raise your voice. You do not win an argument by raising your voice.
  3. Trust your instinct and common sense. You know more about yourself than others. Ask yourself if the statement blamed at you is your fault. If not raise a reasonable statement.
  4. Remember that first impression last. Once you encountered a shamer, they will always be the same. A criminal will always be a criminal and that same goes with the shamer.
  5. Avoid them as possible. Never be near with persons who will put negativity in your life.
  6.  Always be in a positive attitude.
The funny part of being a shamer is that they never learn. When they are group together and started blaming at one another they are like dogs fighting with each other and stops when someone gets hurt.

But hey! There is a benefit when you encounter a shamer!

Being blamed has its own benefits. Just be conscious that not all the blame being accused to you is your fault. Here are some of the few observations that I personally gained after dealing with them.

  1. It has tested my patience.
  2. It thought me how to react properly and deal with the current situation.
  3. It thought me how to observe and read other people’s behavior.
  4. It gave me a better perception of how I should pick my friends.

Friday, February 28, 2020

WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH MY LIFE

Chambie
📷 Japheth Mast
Our lives are meant for something. We have our purpose and that is why we are here. But what if one day we never woke up from our sleep?

This is just one of those vague questions that makes me feel uncertain. Asking myself, what if I never enjoyed life? What if I never meant for something but I was not able to achieve it?.

As I am afloat finding answers to my question, I was unconsciously listening to some motivational dialogues when suddenly a question popped out questioning myself, "What are you doing now? Are you going on the right path to where you wanted to be? What have you achieved right now?" and at that moment I was left in silence. It made me realize that I had a dream and I just wasted decades wasting my life of not chasing my dreams.

PASSION OR CAREER 


Choosing between passion or career is a difficult question especially we don’t have all the same economic status. Some may be on top of others while others may be below.

We all want the same thing and that is to do the things that we love. We don’t want things that make us feel depressed.

Then again, it doesn’t go to all of us. Some of us have some priorities in life; taking care of the financial income of the family, being the breadwinner and more.

Frankly speaking, most of us prefer a career for personal reasons regardless of how difficult it may be to work with a job that you do not like.

83% of US workers are stress with their job. ~ tinypulse

That’s a huge number compared to people who enjoy their job.

Ideally, everyone wants to pursue their passion. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you need to have your own company or become a freelancer but to have a job that you truly enjoy.


THE FEAR OF TRYING

Talking and listening to other people’s stories is my favorite pastime. Especially to stories related to personal experience, horrifying experiences and aspiring dreams.

When I’m with my friends especially those who are younger than me and they started talking about their own goal in life, I always try to listen. I always said to myself, “This seems interesting”, and I would just sit and listen.

There was one time that my friend opened up that he needs extra income to support his family. On that day we had a little conversation and we talked for hours coming up with an idea and then finally something came up. “Why not try opening a mini grocery in your place? And while you work at the office you let your wife take care of it.” We both think that it was a wonderful idea and I even added that if he needs a capital I could lend him a bit of money to start his venture.

After a few days, we met again. Have a little talk about our previous discussion and he opened up that his wife would not agree to that idea because of so many reasons. To avoid confrontation with her wife he set aside the idea and goes back to where he started.


Fear is the reason why borders exist. Fear hinders us to see the future. We are human and we are limitless.

Just look at the kids, because they don’t know the meaning of losing they always achieve what they want. Their imagination is their guide and eagerness to achieve it is what drives them to achieve it.

We don’t want to be in the same situation over and over again without knowing what may be the outcome of our desires. We always want to change and make progress in our life.

WHERE DO I START

There is no definite answer to such questions it's like counting the stars in the night without blinking your eyes. There are many possible answers but it is unsure of those is the best answer.

So what is the best solution?

The only solution for a doubtful answer is to sit and not take action. Sometimes the only course of action to solve a particular problem is not doing anything. Let your mind wander and it will find its own solution.

Do not overthink! Because it would only lead to self-doubt.

Never procrastinate! Because your brain may trash your idea.

Once your brain gives you a good idea, immediately take action. You are only given 5 seconds to react else your brain would flush it out. Time is everything.

SO WHAT IS MY POINT

My point is, do not waste your time. Your time is your life.

Make it worth it! Make it meaningful!

Do not waste it on things that make you useless.

If you sleep for more than 8 hours, Make it at most 8!

If you watch TV for more than 4 hours, read a book instead.

If you spend more than an hour on social media, put down your phone and go out with your friends and be socialized.

You are blessed with life to breathe, make it worth it.

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